Office Lingo

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

145 votes, And 6585 Hits
	Rating:

.: Random 50 Funny Jokes

Get On The Bus	Yo mama's...Fat	Yo Mama's Work Ethic	Yo mama's...Fat
Yo Mama's So Dirty	Golf Fatality	Yo mama's...Stupid	Yo mama's...Fat
Convenience Store	Clinton the Computer Entrepreneur	Yo Mama's So Stupid	Cheerleading Tryouts
Bush and Son	Blonde in a Tree	Yo mama's So Hairy	Fascinating
Blonde in Your Fridge	Leper Hockey	Psychology Class	What Do You Call?
Reverend	Ark-N-Saw	The Golfer and the Leprechaun	Eating is a Sport
Not So Saved by the Bell	You KNOW You're a Redneck	Yo mama's So Ugly	Whats the difference between Saddam's palaces ...
Little Boy Blue	Finder's keepers	It's What's For Dinner	Yo Mama's So Ugly... Born
Yo Mama's Underwear	Smokey the Bear	Whitehouse Parrot	Yo mama's So Dumb
Y'Might Be A Redneck	Yo mama so fat...	Blonde's Salon	Yo mama's So Stupid
Sons Devoted to Mom	You Might Be A Redneck...Rat Trap	Yo mama's So Poor	A Daring New Position
Yo mama's...Skinny	We're Talking Small	Yo Mama's... Ugly	Yo mama's...Ugly
Degrees of the Law	Men's English