Office Lingo

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

137 votes, And 6061 Hits
	Rating:

.: Random 50 Funny Jokes

Saint Patrick's Day Bar Troubleshooting	Chillin' Biddies	Don't Choke	Hot Air Balloon
The Blondes' Revenge	Ignorance	Guns don't kill....	Arkansas Scholars
Beautiful?	Yo Mama's So Poor... Park	Constipation	Perfumed Blonde
Drunken Man and Blonde	No one is safe	Texan Poetry	Yo mama's so stupid...
George W. Bush was caught breaking	Twelve Inch Pianist	Yo mama's...Fat	Blonde Minivan Tragedy
Mexican or Mexican't	Grandma's Birthday	Dikfer	Rhoids
Drivers' Ed	What's That, Tampon?	Yo mama's so Nasty	Yo mama's had more pricks than...
Gross Cornflakes	Blonde Mixup	List of Short Books	Blonde and a Brunette on a Cliff
Brunettes and God	Trampoline vs. Lawyer	Blonde Skydiver	It was a hot day in Iowa. Helga hung the...
Yo mama's So Stupid	Clinton's DNA	Trade Talks	Blonde Kidnapper
Yo mama's So Stupid	Yo Mama's So Dumb... Job Application	Yo mama's So Fat... Black Dress	Dumb Mama and Glass Walls
Post Turtle President	Yo mama's...Stupid	Did you hear....?	Blonde Hits the Ground Last
Ear Condoms	Things Your Mom Would Never Say to You