There once was a very rich man who was very ugly. No one ever wanted to sleep with him, so he decided to drive around in his limo until he found somebody. Soon, he spotted a passed-out bum on the street. He quickly ran out, screwed the bum in the ass, left him fifty bucks, and drove off.
A few hours later, the bum woke up, found the fifty bucks, bought a six-pack of Molson, drank them all, and passed out again.
The next day, the rich man returned, found the bum again passed out, screwed him in the ass, and left him a hundred bucks. Astonished by the money when he woke up, the bum bought two six-packs, drank them down, and passed out again.
The next day, the rich man did the same thing to the bum, but this time left him a hundred fifty bucks. When the bum woke up, he went to the store and bought a six-pack of Labatt's.
"Labatt's?" asked the store clerk. "You always buy Molson."
"I know," said the bum. "But Molson makes my ass hurt."