Jokes
Links

 

 

Signs You're a Drunk

 


1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

3. Your job starts to interfere with your drinking.

4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the elusive 5th food group.

7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case Coincidence?!?!?

8. Two hands and just one mouth now THAT'S a drinking problem.

9. Every woman you see has an exact twin.

10. You fall off the floor

11. Hey, 5 beers have just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

12. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

13. Every night you're beginning to find your neighbours cat more and more attractive

14. I'm not drunk you're just sober!!

15. Roseanne looks good

16. You don't recognise your wife unless seen from the bottom of a glass.

17. That dammned pink elephant followed me home again.

18. You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.

19. You've fallen and can't get up.

20. The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering.


159 votes, And 8873 Hits
Rating:

 .: Random 50 Funny Jokes

.: Highest Rated Jokes
What Is Politics?
Yo mama's So Stupid
Rope a Dope
Redneck... Fast Food
After Great Britain's Beer Festival...
Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Female Comebacks
Yo mama's so ugly... kid
Yo mama's So Fat... Nickname
Hoshimota
Oh My God!
Mexican or Mexican't
Your teeth are so busted...
Yo mama's Teeth So Crooked
Octogenarian Barroom Chat
Yo momma's so fat she has to polish her nails...
Yo Mama's So Fat... Tattoo
Yo mama's So Wrinkly
A little boy wrote to Santa ...
Psychology Class

.: Most Popular Jokes
Another Dumb Blonde
The Worst
Pencil
Dead Bird
Golf and Public Restrooms
Coma
Which girlfriend should I marry?
70 Ways to keep a women happy
Stay Home Blonde
President