Atlanta School Board

The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over
"Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a
language to be taught in all Southern schools.  Here are excerpts from the
Hickphonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI -- noun.  Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence.  Remainder of
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida. 
Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in
IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from
Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. 
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that
things gonna catch far."

BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or
studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"
TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my
pickup truck."
TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire
in Paris sometime."
RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
FAT -- noun, verb.  1. a battle or
combat.  2. to engage in battle or combat.
ARE -- pronoun.  Possessive case of we used as
a predicate adjective.
RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."
DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you
are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"

BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction. 
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence
HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert." 
SEED -- verb, past tense.
VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" 
HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?" 
GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."

94 votes, And 4485 Hits

 .: Random 50 Funny Jokes

.: Highest Rated Jokes
What Is Politics?
Yo mama's So Stupid
Rope a Dope
Redneck... Fast Food
After Great Britain's Beer Festival...
Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Female Comebacks
Yo mama's so ugly... kid
Yo mama's So Fat... Nickname
Oh My God!
Mexican or Mexican't
Your teeth are so busted...
Octogenarian Barroom Chat
Yo mama's Teeth So Crooked
Yo momma's so fat she has to polish her nails...
Yo Mama's So Fat... Tattoo
A little boy wrote to Santa ...
Psychology Class
Yo mama's So Wrinkly

.: Most Popular Jokes
Another Dumb Blonde
The Worst
Dead Bird
Golf and Public Restrooms
Which girlfriend should I marry?
70 Ways to keep a women happy
Stay Home Blonde