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Texas Talkin'

 
Here's what the heck they mean in the Lone Star State...

The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving = Not too smart
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party = An unwelcome person
Tighter than bark on a tree = Stingy
Big hat, no cattle = All talk, no action
We've howdied but we ain't shook yet = We've met, but haven't been formally introduced
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow = He thinks his s#%! doesn't stink
She's got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth = She's a talker
It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs = Rain would be nice
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly = Appearances can be deceiving
This ain't my first rodeo = I've been around the block
He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch = U-G-L-Y
They ate supper before they said grace = They're living in sin
Time to paint your butt white and run with the antelope = Stop
arguing and do as you're told
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse = A braggart
You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits = You can say whatever you want, but that doesn't change a thing

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