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Pickle Slicer

 
One day a man came home from work and told his wife, "Hon, I had the urge to put my thing in the pickle slicer."

"Oh, my God, you should get some help!" his wife said. The next day he came home.

"Hon, I had that urge again!"

"That's it! After work tomorrow, I'm taking you to a doctor!"

The third day he came home all depressed and said, "Hon, I finally did it."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"They fired me - and the pickle slicer too."

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